Maintaining Power when Your Choices are Gone

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Sometimes we have a real or perceived experience of having no choice. And with that, often we feel a loss of power and control... but do we have to feel this way? 

Pictured here is a raging powerful river with no choice of where to go. It doesn’t have a choice - it can’t go any other direction except the direction that is carved out for it. Despite this, it is undeniably powerful. 

This weekend I shared the birth story of my second baby. My experience was empowering, but it also was medically uncomplicated. Everything that happened was in the realms of normal and it was safe. I was in control - and of course this helped me in having a positive experience. 

When you feel like something happened TO YOU, the result is usually feeling negative and powerless. When you feel like you were actively involved, you have an opportunity to feel positive and powerful. 

When things don’t go as planned, when things get complicated, when there is trauma or emergency, it can be so much harder and even feel impossible to find your power in those situations. You can still be an active participant of your birth process in these situations, and if you felt that you weren’t; it is so important to process the experience to identify how you used your power despite the lack of control that you were feeling. Sometimes this involves allowing yourself to grieve the loss of what you wanted/expected. Sometimes it involves going through the details to identify how and when you used your power, and when you lost it - including consciously letting go of things that were out of your control. 

If you birth didn’t go how you planned/wanted/expected... can you see how you still used your power in your experience? Comment below! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

JEN IS A COUNSELLOR AND PSYCHOTHERAPIST IN CALGARY, ALBERTA. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN BOOKING A SESSION WITH HER OR ATTENDING ONE OF HER GROUPS OR WORKSHOPS, VISIT THE ESSENCE OF YOU WEBSITE OR CONTACT JEN DIRECTLY.