rage

“I’m keeping my calm, and then I EXPLODE.”

“I’m keeping my calm, and then I EXPLODE.”

Does this sound like you?

Recently I did an interview with my sister Jessica from Birth Takes a Village on Post-Partum Rage. We talked about common presenting symptoms, and not-so-common strategies to make long lasting changes on the way you experience anger and rage in Motherhood. 

In this interview, I talked about how lingering feelings about your pregnancy, birth & breastfeeding experiences can impact your transition into motherhood & your early relationship with your baby, triggering feelings of anger & rage much faster……Oddly, something I didn’t mention in this interview is how common it is to have feelings of anger & rage when you don’t have enough support, when you’re feeling alone, and when your baby consistently cries for what seems like no apparent reason. 

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If you find yourself going from 0-100 in an instant and then feel guilt or shame, please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! In my counselling practice (The Essence of You), where I primarily work with people in pre-natal, post-partum, & motherhood, one of the most common issues people come to me with are around anger & rage. 

Register for this workshop by clicking on photo!

Register for this workshop by clicking on photo!

For an opportunity to shift how your view your anger and how you see yourself to make lasting changes, come to my next anger and rage workshop next month (BEING OFFERED ONLINE & IN-PERSON IN CALGARY). In this workshop, you will be invited to learn more about what triggers your anger, how to start recognizing warning signs and learn coping strategies to deal with these feelings and the behaviours that come with it. This workshop will also provide opportunity for connecting with other women who have similar struggles in their journey through motherhood.

This workshop is one of my favourites to facilitate. I created this workshop on this specific topic last year when I noticed this theme arising in many of my individual sessions with clients who felt so much isolation and shame in their anger. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

JEN IS A COUNSELLOR AND PSYCHOTHERAPIST IN CALGARY, ALBERTA. JEN OFFERS WORKSHOPS AS WELL AS INDIVIDUAL COUNSELLING ONLINE & IN PERSON IN CALGARY, ALBERTA. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN BOOKING A SESSION WITH HER OR ATTENDING ONE OF HER GROUPS OR WORKSHOPS, VISIT THE ESSENCE OF YOU WEBSITE OR CONTACT JEN DIRECTLY.

Book into Jen’s Anger & Rage Workshop below:

Post-Partum RAGE

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Do you ever feel so angry that you just can't control it?

What do you think is underneath your anger, frustration or rage? What is it trying to tell you? 

If you are reading this, you have probably felt rage, intense anger or frustration since becoming a mother.  Post-partum rage can be unexpected, out of context, uncharacteristic and uncontrollable (Robin Farr, Post-Partum Progress). While anger and rage are both symptoms of post-partum depression and post-partum anxiety, it is also a common experience for women who don't relate to the other symptoms of PPD/A. Feeling rage is a common, but rarely spoken about experience of women in the post-partum period; and it often leaves women feeling afraid and ashamed of their experience. 

What's this about? In my counselling practice, I frequently hear mothers share that they feel shame for any unpleasant or negative feelings/reactions that they have - and this shame stops these women from speaking up and getting the connection and support that they need. Is this you? 

Women go through so many changes in the days, weeks, months, and YEARS after they birth their babies! It can be easy to get lost in this and find yourself feeling angry and rage-y and not understanding why. 

"Anger is an emotion of self-protection. It may involve an effort to prevent injury or specify a boundary. It is a common response to having been threatened, hurt, or scared... Anger can escalate to rage when the threat is extreme..." - Babette Rothschild on unresolved trauma in her book The Body Remembers.

Getting to know your anger/rage, spending time with it and figuring out the root of it is a necessary step towards moving towards making positive, long term changes. When your primary goal is to push the anger away and make it stop, it will just keep coming back again and again. Anger is a SECONDARY EMOTION. What does this mean? It means that there is always another emotion lurking beneath the anger. Getting to these underlying emotions is an essential part of the process if you want to see shifts in how you experience anger.

"When we embrace anger and take good care of
our anger, we obtain relief. We can look deeply into
it and gain many insights." - Thich Nhat Hanh

There are many strategies you can use to help you manage your triggers and become less reactive, and I encourage all of my clients to do this part! And although it might seem scary and maybe even counter-intuitive, I also encourage deeper exploration of the anger itself, and the most important part - allowing it to be there without resistance. 

JEN IS A COUNSELLOR AND PSYCHOTHERAPIST IN CALGARY, ALBERTA. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN BOOKING A SESSION WITH HER OR ATTENDING ONE OF HER GROUPS OR WORKSHOPS, VISIT THE ESSENCE OF YOU WEBSITE OR CONTACT JEN DIRECTLY.