It’s Time to Embody Your Leadership Energy

I was asked recently: What does it mean to be a leader?(Thanks for this prompt, Dana!) If you are guiding others in any capacity, whether in your work, your family, or your community… you are already in a position of leadership. The question is not whether you are a leader, but how consciously you are embodying that role.

Leadership is not defined by titles, visibility, or control. It is defined by how you hold yourself. Because whether you acknowledge it or not, make no mistake: you carry immense influence, and this is not something to take lightly. Whether you like it or not, how you show up, the energy you carry, and the courage you inspire in others is going to be affected by your leadership energy - or lack thereof.

Your presence sets the tone. Your self-trust shapes what others trust in themselves. Your ability to stay grounded in your own authority determines how safe others feel to rise into theirs. And when that leadership is unclaimed, even subtly, people feel it.

*Jen leading a “Healing for Healers” Retreat*
*@trisharaposophoto*

I remember my first time leading a workshop on codependency at my first ever job as a therapist at a treatment centre for addiction/mental health/trauma. I was in my early twenties, full of nerves, and riddled with imposter syndrome. Before walking in, I asked another therapist whom I trusted deeply: “What if someone asks me a question I don’t know the answer to?”
Her response has stayed with me ever since: “Tell them you don’t know.” She explained that I wasn’t meant to have all the answers, and that showing up authentically as I presented valuable information while admitting when I didn’t know something was more powerful than trying to appear to know it all. That was my first taste of what true leadership felt like.
Not long after, I led a session on feminine and masculine energy for a group of nearly 40 men and women at the same treatment centre. Imposter syndrome was high, but I loved the topic and wanted to provide value. Partway through, someone reacted aggressively to something that I shared. It triggered deep childhood wounds that I was not anticipating, and I had to summon all my strength just to stay in the room without bursting into tears. I stumbled my way through the rest of my group as more and more displeasure was shared from the clients on the topic…. and the rest of the session was a blur.
Afterward, I collapsed into my clinical manager’s office, feeling completely inadequate. I could see where I might have presented differently, where I might have responded better, and I was certain I had “failed.” Instead of confirming my failures, my manager softly held space for me and then said something I’ll never forget: “This experience was exactly what every person in that room needed and exactly what you needed.”
I was in disbelief. I feared that admitting my struggle would lead to me losing my job or at the very least, a demotion. But my manager deeply trusted the process, and my ability to grow through it. He assured me that this challenging session was divinely guided for every single client, offering something they needed for their own healing and that it would push me forward into my own self-trust and growth as a therapist. I left that office feeling a relief and clarity I had never experienced before.

This experience was nothing short of transformational for me. It taught me that leadership is not about handling everything perfectly, getting everything right or knowing all the answers. It’s about showing up in my integrity with presence, trusting myself while embracing my vulnerability instead of hiding from it. It’s about stepping into my power even when I feel unprepared, and trusting that the process itself is teaching both myself and those I serve.

Where I am now, nearly 17 years later, is vastly different from that young woman in the story above. “Imposter syndrome” no longer resonates with me, and I am at a point now where I actually do deeply trust that everything unfolds as it needs to. Today, I show up in my work with integrity, self-trust, and a deep knowing that my work is aligned with my purpose — and that everyone who shows up will receive what they need, even if it’s not what they think. When I trust myself and embody my own leadership energy, I hold the power to invite my clients to develop self-trust and discover the answers they are seeking within themselves.

More recently, my lessons have been centred around trusting my own knowing about what a group needs, by acknowledging my inner people-pleaser and instead of following her lead by giving my power away - I’ve been choosing instead to listen to my intuition. I’m learning that my power as a facilitator comes not from asking the group to decide where we go next, but from trusting my own felt sense of what’s needed in the moment. The more I lean into this self-trust, the more I realize: it never fails me. These moments of intuitive leadership remind me that my inner knowing is one of my greatest tools, one that guides the collective process with clarity and alignment.

Leadership in healing is NOT about knowing all the answers. It’s about embodying the process of walking through darkness and showing others it’s possible to move forward. It’s about teaching by example, allowing your own wounds to become your wisdom, and inviting others to do the same.

Embodying your leadership energy isn’t necessarily about leading groups or teaching others. It can be as simple as believing in yourself and becoming self-led — showing up in your sessions from a place of grounded confidence and inner trust. When you are embody your leadership energy, it ripples out to everyone around you. Your presence alone becomes a mirror for their own inner authority. Through your embodied confidence, you help them awaken their own inner leader — the part of them that knows how to heal and grow with you as their trusted guide.

As I reflected this past week more and more on what it means to be a leader, a poem unfolded through my journalling process:

A leader knows what it’s like to walk in the dark,
and with this knowing, supports others as they do the same.
A leader shows people that their wounds aren’t in the way—they are the way. That there is light in the dark.
A leader guides people into their own knowing,
towards their own path,
to their own “right way.”

A leader inspires with her own courage,
embodies confidence,
and shares real examples of living and being her most authentic self.
A leader shows that wounds can become wisdom,
but it’s not to be rushed.
A leader models that we don’t need to have all the answers,
that it’s okay to not always know what steps come next.
A leader embodies confidence and courage,
while holding close the parts of herself that still carry fear and uncertainty.
A leader keeps walking forward with clarity,
with curiosity,
ready to see what’s waiting around the corner.
A leader invites others to rise,
teaches them how to access the power of their voices,
the truth in their bodies,
the certainty in their real selves.
A leader embodies her own truth,
and shows others the way into theirs.

The women who seek me out for support on their journeys are the ones who are ready for meaningful, deeper level work who are stepping up to break generational patterns, on their journey of becoming self-led and true to their authentic sense of self.

Many of these women are mothers, entrepreneurs, or leaders in their work in various forms, in positions where others look to them for guidance. All of my clients have one core trait in common: they want to make meaningful change in themselves and the environments around them and they feel a deep sense of responsibility for how they show up in the spaces they lead.

In 2023, I followed an instinct to offer a retreat called Healing for Healers and Space Holders, with the recognition that those in the helping professions do so much holding and don’t often get to be held. It was the most transformational experience of my life. Not said lightly. The next one was even more powerful.

As I’ve continued to hold these retreats, it’s become clear that this work is not only for “healers,” but for women in leadership across all areas of life, who are ready to meet themselves at a deeper level.

Since then, I’ve been called to create more spaces for women who are leading in different ways, in different industries, with different responsibilities, but who share the same edge: a desire to lead with greater self-trust, clarity, and embodied authority. Now I am offering leadership retreats for women who are ready for deeper work, alongside the original Healing for Healers sessions, and there’s not really anything that lights me up more than this work.

Stepping into your leadership energy means trusting yourself, showing up authentically, and holding space for others to step into their own power. It is about embracing vulnerability, modelling courage, and guiding others with your presence, clarity, and self-trust. Leadership is not separate from the work itself, it becomes a part of who you are, or the way you hold yourself within it. It is present in every breath, thought, feeling, and action. And when this is embodied, it changes how you lead, and what becomes possible for those you work with. This is what deepens your own growth, wisdom, and confidence as a leader.

If you are leading others in any form…. the call is clear: it’s time to embody your own leadership energy. When you do this with confidence and integrity, you guide others to do the same.